My gorgeous grandson, Leo, was surrounded by his adoring great-grandfather, grandfather and father. The love for him radiated from these three men. Watching them, I wondered how the experience of becoming a dad had shifted across the three generations.

Arthur (Great Pa, Pa, Dad) – Became a father in 1957 at the age of 25.

When Arthur and I chatted about him becoming a dad, my 92-year-old father-in-law had been married to his wife, Rhonda, for 70 years. He has three children, Greg, Steven and Jenell and has a clear recollection of when his oldest son, Greg, was born.

“Rhonda was in the kitchen when her waters broke, five weeks before the due date. In those days, in a country town, women went to the doctor when they went into labour, not the hospital. The doctor thought not much would happen as the baby wasn’t due but sent Rhonda to the small hospital for a check-up.  Rhonda was admitted to the hospital, and I went home to bed. I got up at daybreak and went to work fixing milking machines.

I got back to town at about 10 am. People stopped me in the street and congratulated me on becoming a father to a son, but I hadn’t heard that the baby had been born.  I rushed to the hospital. Rhonda was in the ward, and newborn baby Greg was in the nursery. As was common at the time, Rhonda hadn’t been allowed to see Greg since the birth.  I went straight to the nursery to make sure he had 10 fingers and toes. He was perfect. I felt like I was the last one in town to know he’d been born.

Rhonda was out of hospital in a few days, but 5 lb premature baby, Greg, stayed in the hospital for about 3 weeks. Rhonda stayed with her mother, who lived close to the hospital, which made it easier for her to walk up and deliver expressed breast milk and see Greg.

I didn’t have time off work when any of our three children were born. Rhonda’s mother helped her. Each baby was taken weekly to the baby health clinics operated by the Country Women’s Association.

I did change nappies, and you flushed them in the toilet for the initial clean. You had to hold on tight to the corner, so you didn’t lose them and block the drains.”

The couple were 22 and 25 years old when they became parents.  They lived in their own home, which Arthur was building around them. Rhonda described Arthur as “working from daylight to dark”.

Steven – (Poppy, Dad). Became a father in 1987 at the age of 28.

Next came my husband, Steven, Arthur’s second son. He described his experience of becoming a dad when our son Mark was born. My mouth was firmly shut and did not prompt him, because I was there too, but this was about his experience.

“I first found out I was going to become a dad through a home pregnancy test.  We did two of the tests just to be sure.  This was something we had planned and were both very excited and a little surprised that it hadn’t taken us long to get pregnant.

We went to childbirth classes for a few weeks, and the most important thing I learnt was the importance of being there as a support to Anne, and that I wasn’t the one having the baby.

Anne went into labour in the evening.  Through the early stages of labour, she was getting in and out of the shower; she seemed very capable and confident. I was timing the contractions throughout, as we didn’t want to go to the hospital too soon. On the flip side, we didn’t want to leave it too late either. I don’t remember being worried, but I was certainly a bit scared; I’d never done this before.

I drove us to Nowra hospital, where I had also been born. The labour bag was packed, and we were prepared. We were ushered straight to the blue birthing room. The nurses examined Anne and found she was only 5 cm dilated; this was a little disappointing as we had expected her to be further progressed. It seemed like there was still a long way to go.

I continued to help Anne in and out of the shower at the hospital, rubbing her back and holding her hand.  The labour went on for hours, with Anne eventually having an epidural. I didn’t want to see her hurting, but I also knew she wanted the birth to be as natural as possible.

When the baby was crowning, the doctor asked if I wanted to look. Of course I did, but what I saw made me go weak in the knees, almost fainting. I quickly retreated and sat back down at Anne’s head.

We were thrilled to hear the Doctor say, “It’s a boy”; we had chosen not to know beforehand. Our healthy son Mark was wrapped in a blue blanket and handed to Anne. I cried happy tears of joy and relief.

There were no mobile phones in those days, so I drove over to tell Mum and Dad the exciting news, had a shower and went back to the hospital. Anne and Mark were home in a couple of days.  I think I had a week off work.

Having a new baby was scary; I was particularly scared of jabbing him with a nappy pin, dropping him in the bath or knocking the umbilical cord wound. I did everything I could to help.

I remember we had a big yellow nappy bucket in the bathroom. As Dad said, you flushed the dirty cloth nappies in the toilet first, holding on tight not to lose them, then soaked them in the nappy bucket until you washed them.

Mark slept in a bassinet in our room.  I was aware that the baby was not allowed to sleep in our bed, and I was scared of squashing him when Anne breastfed him in bed.

Mark met two great-grandmothers and his great-grandfather in the first week of his life.

It was an amazing, wonderful thing to witness this creation of life, so special.”

Steven was 28, and I was 31 when we became parents.  We had recently moved to Nowra, where Rhonda and Arthur lived.

Mark (Dad) – Became a father in 2023 at the age of 35.

And the newest dad is Mark – Steven and my son, and Arthur’s grandson. I chatted to Mark about the birth of his son Leo, who is now 3 years old.

“We did IVF to have Leo, so it was a series of interventions and then tests. I was excited and nervous when I found out my wife, Kim, was pregnant. We’d already had a miscarriage.

We went to two birthing courses, one that the midwives ran and the other a hypnobirthing one.

The hypnobirthing course was more about the mother’s rights, how to ask questions and make decisions, rather than go with the whim of the doctors and midwives. I also learnt techniques about how to calm Kim and how to make us feel more connected as a couple.

The midwife course was more about medical interventions like epidurals and continuous fetal monitoring.

Kim went into labour when her waters broke in the morning. She had some contractions, and we went to the hospital in the evening.  She got checked, but the contractions were not deemed that serious, and we were sent home.

The contractions went on for another two days, and we checked in at the hospital each day.  On the third morning, we went to the hospital, and the decision was made to induce Kim. I’d forgotten the bags we’d packed, so I rushed home again, dropped the dog off with mum and dad and went back to the hospital. I felt silly and was worried the baby would be born before I got back.

We were lucky to be in a birthing room; we had music, diffusers, a mood board, fairy lights and a large exercise ball.

Kim’s contractions ramped up, becoming more intense and consistent. Kim used a TENS machine and gas for pain relief.  She kept mobile until contractions became 1-2 minutes apart, then she spent more time on the bed.

I was standing with her, talking her through the contractions, holding her hand, encouraging her, reminding her that the pain was good and healthy.

When she was 8 cm dilated, we knew she didn’t have long to go. About half an hour later, she was ready to push. I was holding her hand and watching.  For the first time, she said she couldn’t do it anymore, but you could already see his head. We knew it was going to be a boy.

Cat Stevens “Wild World” was playing when our son was born, and I cut the cord. 

The doctor only came right at the end. The labour was managed by midwives.

Leo was born at 8.30 pm. It was a gobsmacking moment, loving. I cried. Kim was amazing.

I stayed until midnight, stopped at Mum and Dad’s to tell them our wonderful news. I was back at the hospital by 6 am. We left that day after all the tests and visits by physios and lactation consultants had been done.

I had six weeks off work when Leo was born, then took another three months off when Kim went back to work when Leo was one.

During those six weeks, I started learning how to be a dad.  I changed nappies, bathed Leo and cooked meals. No nappy bucket for us, we used disposables.  I made sure Kim was hydrated and fed.

Leo met his grandparents on the first day.”

Mark and Kim were both 35 when they became parents. Living in Brisbane, just 5 minutes’ drive from us. They are eagerly expecting their second son in March 2026.

And now a fourth generation

Three generations of men becoming dads, three very different worlds, and one shared moment: holding their newborn child for the first time.

Now there are four generations who share the middle name Osborne.

I can’t help but wonder what it will be like for Leo if he becomes a father one day.

Whatever the future looks like, I hope he feels what these three men felt — awe, love, and the quiet realisation that life has just changed forever. I hope he and his soon-to-be-born brother continue to feel the legacy of love that these men have bestowed on him.