As a couple’s therapist, I’m always on the lookout for new ways to build connection and intimacy with couples. I was delighted when I discovered an ex colleague of mine, psychologist Iris Goemans, had created Mindful Coupling. This innovative tool for couples is like a delicious box of chocolates, full of unexpected delights. I asked Iris to tell me more about Mindful Coupling…
What is Mindful Coupling?
Mindful Coupling is a relationship card set designed to help couples reconnect, reawaken and rejuvenate their relationship. It includes 30 powerful weekly actions and 64 intimacy-building questions to strengthen a couple’s bond, deepen their connection and enhance intimacy.
What inspired you to create Mindful Coupling?
Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. Romantic relationships can provide a deep source of fulfilment and can be a very meaningful part of our lives. However when I looked around me, I noticed very few relationships that were actually doing well. I noticed many couples feeling dissatisfied in their relationship and disconnected from each other, and that this was causing a lot of anguish. As a wife and mother myself, I understood that feeling disconnected can easily happen, especially when you’re running a household, looking after children, maintaining jobs, and generally trying to keep on top of all the other things life throws at us. People tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s actually greenest where you water it. Continue reading →
How has life, and the way we date, changed since Rhonda and Arthur met and married? This couple, my inspiring parents-in-law, Stevens loving Mum and Dad, and wonderful grandparents to my children married on 1 October 1955, 63 years ago. They have enjoyed over 60 years of loving.
The first date
They met on a blind date. For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s where friends set up a date for you with someone you don’t know. Kind of similar to Tinder except you didn’t get to stalk their Facebook page to see what they looked like.
Rhonda and Arthur courted. The definition of courting for their time would have been “be involved with (someone) romantically, with the intention of marrying”. The urban dictionary today gives the definition as “traditionally courting would include no sexual activity but today that is not usually followed”. I didn’t ask them which definition they followed, and I don’t ask my kids which kind of courting they do either.
On Sunday I witnessed one of the most romantic and courageous acts I’ve seen. It was at a 60th birthday party. Our friend Mick was celebrating his birthday while lamenting the speed of life which had bought him to this point. He was surrounded by 26 friends and family and had just shouted us all to a delicious lunch. Hilarious anecdotes of his life bounced around the room and there were many heartfelt speeches rejoicing in a life well lived and promises to share more adventures in the future. Maybe you think a 60th birthday would be a dull event, but no, by that age the fine art of enjoyment has been perfected.
Mick has been married to Mary Jo for over 25 years and she stood to deliver her speech, however, she surprised us all, and instead of speaking she Continue reading →