Building connection and intimacy through Mindful Coupling

Mindful coupling cardsAs a couple’s therapist, I’m always on the lookout for new ways to build connection and intimacy with couples.  I was delighted when I discovered an ex colleague of mine, psychologist Iris Goemans, had created Mindful Coupling.  This innovative tool for couples is like a delicious box of chocolates, full of unexpected delights.  I asked Iris to tell me more about Mindful Coupling…

 What is Mindful Coupling?

Mindful Coupling is a relationship card set designed to help couples reconnect, reawaken and rejuvenate their relationship.  It includes 30 powerful weekly actions and 64 intimacy-building questions to strengthen a couple’s bond, deepen their connection and enhance intimacy. 

What inspired you to create Mindful Coupling?

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. Romantic relationships can provide a deep source of fulfilment and can be a very meaningful part of our lives.  However when I looked around me, I noticed very few relationships that were actually doing well.  I noticed many couples feeling dissatisfied in their relationship and disconnected from each other, and that this was causing a lot of anguish. As a wife and mother myself, I understood that feeling disconnected can easily happen, especially when you’re running a household, looking after children, maintaining jobs, and generally trying to keep on top of all the other things life throws at us.  People tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s actually greenest where you water it. 

As a psychologist with over 15 years experience, I wanted to help couples improve their relationships.  Good relationships don’t just happen, they need to be cultivated.  I developed Mindful Coupling to help couples nourish, nurture and prioritise their relationships, so their relationships could flourish and provide a deep source of fulfilment.

 Who is this lovely box of goodies for?

Mindful coupling cardMindful Coupling is for couples wanting to strengthen their bond, and those wanting to reignite the spark, reconnect, reawaken and rejuvenate their relationship.  My clients have included couples who have been married for 30+ years, couples just about to get married, and singles looking to learn how to have a healthier and happier next relationship.  So basically, the cards can be helpful to anyone who wants to learn ways to improve or strengthen their romantic relationship, and anyone who wants to cultivate a deeper connection with their partner.

My husband Steven and I have been married for 32 years and we have started using your cards.  Whilst going through the cards, I discovered that what he admires most about me is my honesty and forthrightness!  That’s something I didn’t know, would never have asked him, and wasn’t expecting.  So thank you. 

What should people generally expect when they use Mindful Coupling?

People can expect to be surprised and delighted to learn new things about each other.  Mindful Coupling can infuse relationships with new spirit and life, or strengthen an already solid connection.  When people commit to the process, it can help couples shift away from old, stale patterns, into productive and thoughtful actions.  Mindful Coupling can help to refocus relationships, foster open and healthy communication, and promote positive and meaningful interactions to deepen feelings of love, joy, appreciation and desire.  

Did you test Mindful Coupling out on your family and friends, or in your own relationship?

Absolutely!  My family and friends really loved the concept and product.  The feedback was really positive and they found it made their relationships stronger.  It was of course important for me to test it out on my relationship too, as I am by no means immune to the challenges of keeping the spark alive.  We found that it actually bought us closer together and made us discover new things about each other, which was nice.  And actually, my partner and I continue to incorporate the strategies into our relationship now, as it’s important to continue to nurture that bond.

What is the best way to use Mindful Coupling?

MIndful Coupling cardsEach week couples are encouraged to progressively work through the 30 action cards (in order) and incorporate that action into their week.  Each week’s action will steadily build emotional and physical intimacy.   The 64 intimacy-building questions also included can be used as a perfect ‘date night’ activity.  When practised with warmth and openness, the experience can be quite profound and rewarding.

Where can we buy Mindful Coupling?

Mindful Coupling can be purchased through my website ( for $34.95.  I’m also on Facebook and Instagram (Mindful Coupling) where I share relationship tips and advice.

 Thanks Iris.  I really love these cards and will certainly be recommending them to clients.  They would also make a great engagement or wedding present. I hope that many couples find Mindful Coupling in their Christmas stocking.  What could be a better gift for Christmas than a beautiful box full of love and understanding.

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